TRYING

I was planning on giving our Landon-Boy some press, and I'm still going to. There's a lot going on in his almost nine year old life. I want to post all about it. Last night he and I went out to dinner after baseball practice - Just The Two of Us... and I LOVED it. I really, really enjoyed him. Lately, it seems that every time he wants to "talk" one of his little siblings is interrupting with some kind of urgent need. I was feeling a bit distant from him and our little dinner together was the perfect way to reconnect, no distractions, just listening to all the funny things that go on in his head.

But today is just not the day to tell you all about him because I have some other thoughts that are crowding out my happy thoughts. I gotta get them out so I can focus.

So for NOW, I am TRYING *to be more positive in my thoughts and words *to take nothing for granted *to live in the moment and plan for the future *to help the elementary school come up with an allergy action plan that is suitable for Austin *to figure out a way to help Austin be a "normal" kid

I have had three meetings with the principle, over the past couple of months, regarding Austin's food allergies - focusing on the Peanut Allergy, because that is the one that is LIFE THREATENING. Here's what I'm asking for:

-Staff Training: recognizing signs of anaphalaxis and knowing what to do and how to use the epi-pen {as of my last meeting, only ONE person in the school knew how to use the epi-pen. That is unacceptable to me - what if she isn't there? what if they can't find her? what if... I think ALL staff should be trained to use the epi-pen, the sooner he gets the shot the less likely he will die or suffer brain damage from lack of oxygen}

-Ban of Peanut Products in the Classroom: this is a touchy subject. In Florida parents are picketting to remove a 1st grader from school. They are saying some MEAN things that rock me to my core. This website has a video from CNN that talks about this case. It also lists some of the things people are saying based on this case, two examples:

"Really? I shouldn't have access to a peanut product anywhere "in public" because of your kid's problem? Man, you make me want to scatter peanuts everyplace I go. Sounds like a gene pool that needs to be drained."

"You do everything you can, but at some point you've just got to let some kids die. Are we at that point with banning peanut butter? I don't know. But the survival of any species can't continue when the weakest are allowed to pass along their sickly genes."

Comments such as these, help me realize that I am the minority, and there are STRONG opinions out there. I can not understand how people can be so callous and just plain mean. But that's beside the point. I'm not going to win, trying to change those kinds of opinions. But there's gotta be some kind of compromise and balance. I get that people have the right to eat whatever we want. We also have the "right to bear arms". Yet, guns are banned in schools, as they should be. A peanut for Austin is just as dangerous as a loaded gun. I am asking the school to ban peanuts in the classrooms. Students can eat it in the cafeteria where it can be controlled. Which brings me to my next point in the action plan.

-Providing a CLEAN nut-free table in the cafeteria (if I had my way, I would ban nuts from the entire school, but apparently, there are children "that will ONLY eat peanut butter and we can't force them to eat something else." Furthermore, this is such a TEENY-TINY town that the principal is VERY concerned about backlash from parents...really concerned. And I too, want them for me not against me - or Austin)

-Asking kids to wash their hands as they enter the room after lunch: there is concern with this taking away from the students educational time. I can understand that, as well. However, hand washing will benefit all children for general health and wellness reasons. And with sinks in the classroom, it can be done quickly and efficiently.

-Decreasing the amount of nuts in school, in general: I've asked the school cafeteria to come up with a substitute for Uncrustables, which are served everyday. It's proving to be a lot more difficult than expected, because of financial reasons, and the need for the cooks to "make" the peanut-free sandwiches themselves instead of just opening a box of pre-made ones.

I feel like maybe I'm too close to this issue to assess if fully, because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the big deal is? Why is it so hard to just reduce the amount of peanut butter from the school (by keeping what people bring from home in a controlled space and not serving it from the hot lunch line). And why is it such a big deal to assign a table in the cafeteria to be peanut free?

I've been in two other school districts that were "peanut free" and didn't think twice about it (even before I realized the severity of Austin's allergy). In fact, Ada County (Boise school districts - within an hours drive) have all adopted a peanut-free allergy protocol, according to our allergist. So, I'm left to wonder, can't we just copy that protocol and put it into affect next year?

As I write this, I am aware that it might sound as if the school isn't working with me. The principal, actually, has been quite sympathetic and has put many phone calls in to others in the "know". She is willing to do what needs to be done but she also has lots of pressure from, not only other parents, but even staff within the school that just can't fathom the thought of not being able to eat nuts at school. So that's where we're at. My options: keep working with the school, drive Austin to Boise everyday, Homeschooling, a private school with (according to people that attend) very supportive staff and less parents to deal with. What I want to do is just let him keep going to school, SAFELY. I'd like your opinion, am I being unreasonable?

Still Guessing

There's much going on lately but the MAJORITY of our LIVES revolves around what we eat. So, while I keep up with scouts and parent teacher conferences (over the phone (!) weird?) and preschool snacks and dioramas of falcon habitats and laundry and {FINALLY} an appointment with the principle to discuss Austin's needs for next year, and church responsibilities, and a teething one year old and... well, life, I am constantly watching for allergy symptoms, constantly trying to figure out how to make our old favorite foods okay for Austin, constantly thinking ahead, "what can I feed him tomorrow if I give him this today?" (it's the rotation that is the hardest for me to deal with, eliminating bad foods really stinks but it's doable, rotating the foods he can eat is exhausting)

Austin is doing much better. He's gained a pound in less than two weeks. He looks healthier. BUT still, despite my efforts, TWICE he's gotten hives on his mouth and tonight his lips swelled. So... I go through all these emotions: discouragement, when he gets hives or when I feel like this is all just SO hard; happiness, no ELATION, that something relatively simple like eliminating something from his diet can "cure" him of his symptoms; worry that he will always suffer; worry that he will have a life threatening reaction at school; worry that he'll develop more allergies; worry, worry, worry. Despite my best efforts not to, I still worry.

Today when he got home from school he was wound up. REALLY HYPER. I wondered if he ate something, but his emotions have been just as scattered as mine have been (he's working on accepting this as much as the rest of us - probably more so) so I let it go. We had to drop something off at a friends - Austin ran around her house like a M.A.N.I.A.C. I wondered again, but still, I didn't think I had fed him anything he couldn't have. Then, after dinner I noticed... one half of his lip swollen, and hives dotting the other half. Weird, I know, but that's how his "minor" reactions present. The crazy thing about it is allergens can cause hives up to 6 hours later. So it could have been ANYTHING he ate today - or even if he smelled some Peanut Butter at school, or if the jump rope he used during PE was used by someone who had eaten PB before he used it. I don't know. That's the MOST FRUSTRATING part of all of this. I just don't know. It's just guessing, all the time.

So I go through the things I DO know.

*smoothie with hemp protein (could be the hemp, but I doubt it - yo! there was no "weed" in it!!)

*apple cinnamon crock pot oatmeal (the best new way to make oatmeal!!) this is my main suspect. The oats were not certified Gluten Free and they were generic - much more likely to be cross contaminated with other allergens.

*non-dairy, soy-free, butter substitute I used for his sweet potatoes - the very last ingredient is pea protein - could be that, he's had three reactions to legumes, which the pea is. But, it would be a very trace amount so, I'm not sure.

*the chicken broth I used to cook the quinoa we ate tonight - could be that. it wasn't certified Gluten Free, but I've used it before... not sure

*the "breading" I used for the fish - Austin asked for fish sticks, they are definitely not on our diet, so I found some gluten free breading - the last ingredient, though is MSG. MSG isn't good for us for lots of reasons but, especially because it is derived from soy. could've been that, but again, it would have been trace amounts.

What I have to do to figure it out: I can't use any of my "suspects" for four days, at least, and then give them to him one at a time to see which one it was. I'm really thinking it was the oats. Next time I'm in Boise, near a health food store, I'm going to buy certified gluten free oats and only give him those. Also, I need to get rid of our generic labeled food because they are all manufactured with other foods and likely to be cross-contaminated. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that food is just going to cost {A LOT} more now. So many changes and SO many guessing games... blah! I know we will figure it all out, I just wish we could do it faster, and with no more suffering for Austin.

*Sorry, Buddy, I'm working on making things better, I promise.*

{just a little bit of} H-E-double-hockey-sticks

Okay, Yes. I know. It's a strong word. Too strong of a word, really, to describe our life. BUT, there have been some times this week I have felt like I was living in it. The moments are fleeting and surrounded by many small miracles and happy moments, so, yeah, it's really WAY TOO STRONG OF A WORD. But, dang it, those moments seem to last a LONG time when you're living through them.

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This week our family has suffered from: bronchitis (me - 3 days on an antibiotic and inhaler and today is the first day I'm feeling okay, since last Monday) pink eye (just Landon, so far. can we keep it that way? please?) colds (the Littles, of course.) and a 24 hour stomach virus - the "runny" kind (first Isaac and Ella, now me, possibly Cameron) DON'T COME TO OUR HOUSE - IT'S THE BLACK PLAGUE!!! (but we're on the mend, so come next week; we'll be better!)

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As if that's not hard to deal with ... We got some news. And it's really not good. Remember this post? Thankfully, since then we've found a new allergist that was willing to take Austin on as a patient, even though she doesn't take our insurance - and our insurance approved her charges anyway. phew! But... the BEST PART is...SHE IS HELPING HIM... Oh, this is an answer to prayer. For over a year, I've known something was more wrong with Austin but couldn't figure it out on my own and couldn't get a doctor to help me. FINALLY, I feel like we have the support we need to figure out how to help Austin.

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So, here's the verdict. After re-testing Austin, and doing some more tests to different antibodies (did you know there's two allergy-caused kinds? neither did I. question: how come the other docs didn't do this test?! just wondering) in a regular blood test and an "inhalant" skin test we've discovered 6 new allergies; 2 to foods and the rest environmental. Blood tests also showed that Austin was pretty deficient in some vitamins, especially vitamin D, which is proven to make allergies worse. The deficiencies suggest that his body hasn't been absorbing nutrients from his food. We learned that the "BIG" allergies include dust, cats, dogs, dairy, nuts, soy, eggs. These are all "class IV" or higher, meaning they cause significant immune response (reactions that include swelling and hives, itchy skin and eczema, stomach upset). He also shows sensitivity to some other things, including gluten.

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So, here's the treatment plan for now. First things first: vitamin D supplements. check. that one was easy. (so many people have suggested kinesiology - technically called APPLIED KINESIOLOGY... we're not there yet. Austin's immune system is going so "haywire" right now that any type of desensitizing him is just a bad idea...but maybe in the future. To be honest, there's bigger problems right now.)

First a bit of background: remember I'm no doctor so, these terms and explanations are not text book, just my understanding

All of his allergies together make up a total "allergy load". If the allergen load is small, the body can handle small amounts of an allergy - one reason that two people with the same grass allergy handle hay fever season differently. Austin has been getting BOMBARDED with certain allergens, especially SOY. We completely replaced every bit of dairy in his diet with soy, plus there is soy in all kinds of random places - even the multivitamins I had given him (did you know Gatorade powder has soy in it? Seriously.) This gave him a big allergy load. So then, when the seasonal allergies hit, or he played at a house with a dog, or we let him eat a piece of pizza thinking we could just give him a dose of Benedryl, his allergy load increased even more, until his immune system couldn't handle it and started attacking other "harmless" things in his blood.

back to treatment:

So, for now we have to focus on repairing his immune system and getting his body properly absorbing nutrients.

We have eliminated everything he's allergic or sensitive to, including gluten and soy. {We are going to start some "sub lingual drops" (like allergy shots) for the seasonal and environmental allergies; which will in turn lower his allergy load, eventually.}

We are also using a "rotating diet." Since his immune system seems to be ready to attack, we are rotating all of his starches, and I'm even being [a little less]careful to rotate certain high allergy fruits (like strawberries, bananas, and apples). What this means is that on a given day he can have only one type of grain or starch - either rice, corn, oats or potato - and then he can't have that starch again for four days. This keeps his blood from being "overloaded" with any one type of food, making his immune system feel "safe" and preventing a new food allergy.

In about six months we can start adding in certain foods in small amounts at a time. I think we'll continue rotating to be safe.

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A trip to Boise Co-Op (Health Food Store) and $200.00 later and I think, okay I can handle this...but that took a couple days, because I was sick, and I had to research to figure out what to buy. So in the mean time... well, here's the story from the beginning (yes, I know, long winded tonight, I am - and a bit like Yoda. ha :) )

Cameron went to the appointment with Austin because I was too sick to do just about anything. When he told me the news I cried...only for a minute, because that doesn't help solve the problem...but it does give me clarity sometimes, and so does vacuuming. So that's what I did next; vacuumed the whole house, I think it helps me because I can't hear the kids and my mind can just think on it's own for a minute, plus less dust is good for Austin, so I vacuum almost daily. Anyway, after that I decided to look through my cupboards. Wow, this is going to be tough. Cameron stayed in Boise to take Austin out to lunch for his "last pizza" for a while, and I rallied, woke the little kids up from naps and went to Walmart, channelling the Little Engine that Could, I can figure out what to make for dinner, and I can make it through the store without falling over... I can do this.

I came up with... what to call it? Italian Vegetable Sausage Soup? Chunky Minestrone? It's not too different then something we would normally eat. Just changed the chicken broth to GF chicken stock, left out the noodles, added a couple more veggies, and didn't serve it with these (my favorite breadsticks)

Believe it or not that pot of soup gave me confidence that I can do this pretty easily and feed my whole family ONE meal. I CAN create a place where Austin will not feel left out. I was proud of myself, for a minute, and then I went right to bed... should've gone to get an antibiotic that night instead of waiting two more days....

So we carried on, with no bread in sight. My plans to make it were ruined with the realization that Gluten Free baking requires a mixture of flours to work. Everything I've read (and I've been at this computer for HOURS researching allergen-free cooking) has mentioned that replacing wheat flour with one other flour will not work (except for almond and coconut flour - he can't have either - okay, if you wanna know; it's cuz the coconut is in the legume family and since he's had SEVERE reactions to 3 members of that family already, coconuts out for now.) So, I was again discouraged, since we aren't supposed to mix any grains or starches right now. But we were doing okay, and Austin seemed to handling it all exceptionally well.

On day three, though, he came home from school, asked for a snack and started crying, "can't I at least have a cracker?!" Not good. I called the doc's office and talked this over with the nurse. As long as we are EXTREMELY careful to limit this to no more than twice a week, I can bake with mixed flours. I will try to use the majority of one type of flour (like rice flour, for example) and only use other flours as minimally as possible to get a good baking result. I was ready to experiment. And since it was "oat day" I found a recipe for oatmeal cookies and Austin and I whipped out a batch. We decreased the rice flour and potato starch and increased the oat flour so the bulk of the cookie was made with oat flour, and success.

It wasn't a cracker, but it satisfied us all. Seriously, they were amazing, and not even an egg. Winner. Phew. I have at least one Gluten Free, eggless, nondairy, no nut, mostly one type of flour recipe

And today, these little gems came in the mail. Austin went through TWO cookbooks, exclaiming, I can have this?! YES! oh joy

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The biggest challenge has been, and I think it will continue to be, getting organized to the point that I can actually feed him without it being a HUGE process at every meal. Because of the rotation, it's just very complicated to feed him (we had tacos tonight - he can't eat a taco shell again for four days...but I can freeze the meat and give him tacos for lunch on the next "corn day" or I could let him eat the meat with salad tomorrow but he's not really cool with that, "no taco shell for my taco mom?!")

So there's just SO SO much planning. I've made a calender to fill out and plan meals for the month, but, not only does the planning take time, I have to get him fed three/four times a day so I haven't been able to plan. I'm confident I'll get into a routine, though, and I'm hoping to soon have a freezer full of treats and breads and things for lunches, so I can eventually only have to "cook" one meal a day again. Gone are my chicken nugget or tuna sandwich for lunch days. At least for now.

But IT IS WORTH IT

I know the lighting is different, but I think you can still tell. He looks SO much healthier, I am amazed. His skin is no longer ashen, his lips are pink, instead of white and puffy, his dark circles - they are SIGNIFICANTLY lighter. I purposely didn't photoshop the pictures to see the differences better. I'll say it again, I am amazed... and so happy. What you don't see: it took 2 days and he told me he wasn't itchy. His back doesn't feel like sandpaper anymore. And his behavior has improved so much - he acted like a...popcorn kernel about to pop: agitated and crazy and UNable to stay still. He's still a little boy that loves to run and jump but he CAN sit still and the aggressive agitation edge he had is completely gone, leaving instead, just him.

There's some other aspects of all of this to consider too, though. His psychological health too. His brain development is at a place right now that is shaping the big boy and man he will become. We must walk a fine line of enough love and support and not too much indulgence. As in, we must accept his feelings and give him a place he can share them. We must help him realize that it's not his fault. We must never make caring for him feel like it's a burden to us. But we can't over react when he's sad he didn't get a cupcake at school and go buy him a new toy or give him 10 of something he can have or let him get out of a chore, because he could develop the attitude that the "world owes him something" because he can't eat bread.

It's all such a balancing act. I feel like I walk a tightrope. Lets not forget that I have three other SWEET babies that need me too. And a husband (can we go on a date soon?!) to spend time with. And myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still me, or if I'm just a mom. And while I can't even stomach the thought of not being what my kids need me to be, it'd be nice to just be me just once in a while.
SO, I walk my tightrope, GLADLY because I do know how blessed I am. And I do love this life and the people that are in it. And it's really not even close to feeling like H-E-double-hockey-sticks, but it's hard sometimes. So I pray that I am strong enough. And I pray I wont fall off that tightrope, knowing that I will. So I pray more, hoping that when I do fall, I'll know how to get back on and maybe I'll stay on longer the next time.

on my mind

In the hopes that I might get a little sleep tonight I thought I'd put my thoughts to paper, uhh, screen.

When I was in beauty school I worked on a LOT of older women - they were my main clientelle. It was fun to talk them into color or a new haircut; most wanted a new do and it was fun to give it them. There were a few, though, that I just didn't get. These were the ones that came in for a shampoo set week after week with nothing to talk about but their ailing health. They were the ones who didn't wash their own hair because they couldn't lift their arms over there heads in the shower and didn't dare lay down in the tub incase they couldn't get back up. As much as I tried to steer the conversation away from their health problems, it always came back to that. I thought, "does this lady have NOTHING in her life besides her bad health?! Can't she think of ANYTHING else?"

I understand now. When you have bad health it IS your life. It's not that you have nothing better to think about, it's that it's all you can think about. It is what you are, it is your lifestyle, it just is the way it is.

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The words, Severe Food Allergy, don't get the same reaction from people as diabetes, or such and such syndrome, or cancer. But for me, the words have the same meaning - a "disease" that has to managed, and dealt with and lived with. Something that can become, and sometimes is, debilitating. Something that could ultimately take my boy's life.

I have great empathy for people whose children suffer with life-threatening illness, people whose children are confined to wheelchairs, people who have to give their kids around the clock care, people who try to give their kids as "normal" of a life as they can have. From the outside looking in, no one would think of me as a mom with a kid like that... and I am grateful that my son's issues are quite manageable. But when I see him scratching his skin, all over, until it bleeds, when he starts panting and asking for benedryl, when his lips swell and he gets hives around them and in his eyes, I just wish people knew that he DOES suffer and THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

I have a nagging feeling that no one would question me if I said Austin had diabetes; people would make an effort to give sugar-free snacks, or even non-edible treats for birthdays and class parties, no one would think twice about not giving a diabetic child candy.

...

Yet, no matter how I say it, people don't seem to understand. His teacher let someone bring a jar of peanuts to be served at a buffet. More than one friend, has given out PBandJ's or even handfulls of pistachios and almonds while Austin was there. I've picked kids up for carpools and they've brought their peanut butter and jelly in the car with them. "sorry, it's all I had." they say. I understand. Who am I to say what someone can or can't feed their kid. All I know is that I panic every time Austin is around nuts. And I panic at people's indifference and lack of understanding. And I flashback to seeing his unconsious, blue little body at 2, after an anaphalactic reaction.

Everytime Austin leaves the house, I send him with his own food. Before a birthday party, I call the mom and find out what she's serving. I try to make the same thing for him to bring - so he gets to eat what they're eating and still be safe.

On this day, I called the mom, explained the allergies, told her Austin could only eat his own food, asked if peanuts would be served, asked if she could have the kids wash their hands after ice cream. It's hard for me to do that, becuase I feel intrusive and annoying. But if they saw him after a reaction they'd understand. She didn't understand. She said, "gosh, good thing {her son} didn't want to have Rocky Road!" In a rush I think: he's not safe there, she's annoyed that I'm making this a big deal, people are going to stop inviting him because it's too hard to worry about handwashing and what food is safe, I should teach Austin to use his own Epi-pen, no. still not old enough, do I tell her about that now too?!..." I give a courtesy laugh, hang up the phone, and start crying.

It's hard to find a balance, even here at home, with living a "normal" life and paying attention to what's in the food we eat, and even what we don't eat. I picked up Landon from scouts the other day and he jumped in the front seat with a bowl. It had pinecone bird feeders in it, that they had just made. He had peanut butter smeared on his shirt and pants, the peanut butter smeared strings were hanging over the sides of the bowl, his hands had peanut butter on them. I wanted to make him get out of the car, walk home. Instead I calmly got out a napkin, told him not to touch anything. We hung his feeders up high in our tree and threw the bowl in the garbage. He went in and took off his clothes and put them in the washing machine. We washed our hands. I wiped down the door handles to the car and the house.

After Young Women's, the other night, I was cleaning up. There was extra cake (it was Costco - I LOVE Costco cake - the filling is like bismark doughnut filling). We were putting pieces on plates for us to take home. I said no thanks. Of course everyone said, "Come one, just take some." They think I'm trying to be nice or something. Really I don't want it because when someone offers me food all I can think is, "is it safe for Austin? Do I have something similar to give him? Do I have time to make something?" I can't bring it home because...well, how would you feel if everyone was eating cake and you couldn't have any. It's just easier to make my own that Austin can eat.

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Managing food allergies has been a big adjustment for us. And it continues to be. Austin has been having other reactions lately. He tested positive for wheat allergy. The allergist said not to worry about it because it was such a low positive. But then he started having symptoms. I live in a city with NO health food store - in order to buy the ingredients I need to put him on a wheat,peanut,and dairy free diet I have to drive 55 minutes (one way). It's hard to fit that in because I have 3 kids with 3 different school schedules, and going at night after Cameron gets home is hard too because I barely can get there before the store closes. So, I try to organize and figure out ways to make it okay. I've heard of all the new research, we haven't found a doctor that's willing to try to desensitize Austin, yet. I've heard of chiropractic therapy to help. We'll see. For now I have to get his allergies under controll. That means, figuring out what's causing his reactions, that means restricted diets, that means I really have to organize and plan meals better. I'm overwhelmed by it all, to be honest.

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One thing I have discovered is a great shake recipe - it's one of our favorite breakfast/afterschool snacks:

in a blender (I use a Ninja, that I love, thanks Mom!) put a handful of spinach (yes, spinach, you won't taste it, I PROMISE!), a cup of yogurt (we use SOY) a couple handfuls of frozen fruit, some grape juice (grape or fruit punch is best because it hides the green spinach color - but we've this with OJ and it tastes good too), and some soy milk to make it extra creamy. Mix it all together until it's smooth and you'll kids will ask for it everyday, especially if you give them a straw!
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I just love Austin. He's happy and energetic. He is such a good helper. He's a fort building, stuffed animal loving, book reading, ball bouncing, couch jumping, great kid. He is dependable and responsible. He is hillarious. He has a great ability to sense what someone needs and to do it. He is always trying to make someone happy. He handles all of this very well. He's learning to ask, "does this have nuts in it?" instead of, "can I have this?". He's careful about handwashing. He's excited to bring lunch next year when he finally gets to have a full day at school - another thing I worry about, since the school won't go peanut free. And so the circle continues, maybe it does for every mother, the worry...

*edited to add: The comments I've recieved have reminded me that I have so, so, so much support from so many friends and family. And for you, I am grateful.

The C..U..R..S..E..

The last two weeks all 4 of my kids have looked like this...

allergy eyes (people in the "know" call them allergic shiners)...

...and blank stares - her eyes aren't quite as swollen but she has the dark circles and "headache stare". I was hoping she wouldn't succomb to the allergy curse that my kids all have; apperently she has. She gets eczema when I drink milk, and all the other symptoms of allergies. Doctors won't treat her for allergies until she's one; so we're just treating her symptoms {and I'm not drinking milk while breastfeeding}

I've been to the pediatrician twice and Urgent Care three times in the past two weeks (one of those times was for Isaac's concusion - read on - but the rest were all allergy related). My house has turned into a pharmacy - at least I feel like it. This is just the medicine for the boys. I have to label everyhting so I don't get mixed up. Ella is on prednisone and allbuteral/nebulizer treatments right now too

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Lukily, the inhaler and Singulair is doing a good job for Isaac. His biggest problem is that he doesn't listen to ANYONE! Seriously, if he makes it to 3 it'll be a miracle. Here's a few crazy things he's been doing (within the last week):
*tried to cook himself an egg - really. cracked it into the skillet (and all down the front of the oven) on the stove. Thank GOODNESS he couldn't reach the knobs to turn it on.
*stood on the bar stool and tipped it over into the wall
*burned himself on an electric fence - after at least 2 adults told him not to touch it,
*figured out how to open the garage door and he is constantly running outside and playing, often times in the middle of the street.
*got his second concusion of his life, falling off a swing at the park
*tries to take medicine because he "yikes it".

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Landon has a referall in to ENT. Hopefully it will be processed soon so I can get him in ASAP. He can't even breathe through his nose.... he gasps for air inbetween words or bites of food.

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Ella is recovering from this episode. They say she has an "irritable airway". Any time something she's "sensitive" (they don't say allergic until kids are one) to makes its way into her system she wheezes, which needs to be treated with albuteral.

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Austin has the CURSE the worst. The other day someone brought over muffins with almonds and chocolate chips in them. Austin reached his breaking point when he realized he couldn't have one. He threw a full-on 30 minute temper tantrum. It was quite heart-breaking, actually, because as he kept screaming, "It's NOT FAIR!!" all I could think was, "I know. It's not fair." I tried to explain that I understood how he felt. It's something that helps make him who he is. I told him we could make some applesauce muffins. He just cried and cried. As he gets closer to Kindergarten my stomach hurts with worry. What if he decides he doesn't care about his allergies and eats something he shouldn't? What if the kids make fun of him for not eating something? What if I don't send a special snack for him on a day that someone brings treats and he has nothing to eat? Why can't the school be a peanut free school? What if the teacher can't get his Epi Pen in time because it's locked in the nurses office? The worries don't go away. Every time I talk to the school or the allergist I voice my worries and every time I get the same answers that don't make me feel better.

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I'm grateful that my kids "ailments" are all treatable. I cry for friends whose kids have to endure much worse (my friend's 6 year old has undergone 6 rounds of chemo, 2 surgeries, a bone marrow transplant, going septic, and all the HORRIBLE side effects of it all). I feel lucky that my kids are healthy. But as another friend told me hard is hard. And right now things have been a little hard for all of us around here. So if you've wondered what we've been up to: just keeping our heads above water until we can get all of us healthy (and Isaac to listen to us, at least a little!)