Baby Steps {What is NORMAL Anyway?}

Okay, I predicted another post in about three months and, well, it was a good prediction.  I keep thinking life will "get back to normal" or "settle down" and then I'll be able to do all the things I want to do...like write this blog {family journal}, for instance.  This year has taught me MUCH and one of those things is there is NO normal!  

Now that I'm on the other side of my surgery and {mostly} healed, I can define my normal as this: being able to BREATHE DEEPLY and BE CALM,  LOOK TO THE FUTURE, MAKE GOALS and WORK TOWARD THEM, ENJOY THE MOMENT.  So many of my days have been spent just trying to make it through the day, live through the pain or the exhaustion.  Now that I have conquered this beast in my life, I can see that trials will come and life will be hectic and sometimes you just have to "make it through the day".  BUT, now I realize that at the end of a trial I can get back to my normal.  And sometimes, I can still have some "normal" through the trial.  Funny thing about facing affliction, after you've been through a big one the small ones don't seem so bad :)

So, now that I have some energy back, I'm trying to get caught up on all the things I've been letting go for the past months, like cooking dinner :) I made 30 freezer meals and froze some meals that church friends brought over.  I have one left.  BELIEVE me, those freezer meals have been a blessing, so thanks for all of you that brought us food, it was well appreciated.

Also, I want to get back on track with this blog.  It makes me happy to document my family's life.  I realize that HALF of Landon's living - at - home - with - his - parents life is over!  That makes me sad.  I want to remember these years.  I want to try my hardest to arm him with knowledge and strength for the "real world".  This blog (I think of it as our journal) helps me do that.

And speaking of Landon growing up... I was a wreck on the first day of school this year.  He started middle school - in 5th grade!  I feel like I got jipped a year of "kid-hood" with him.  There's something about him being at MIDDLE SCHOOL that just kinda freaks me out.  I want his innocence to stay intact.  I've accepted that it wont, though, and we have talks about "dating" and swearing and being an example.  (And just so you know, Girl that Won't Be Named, Landon is still not allowed to date you! HA!  I'm still reeling over that one...)

This boy is growing up too!  He started a Montessori Preschool and he loves it.  Everyday he tells me he didn't learn how to read yet.  That makes him disappointed.  We have to talk about how things worth doing take hard work, like learning how to read or ride a bike.  He'll get it.  I'm glad he's so excited about learning.

Austin just turned 8; growing up too.  He is such a helpful, cheerful boy!  I tell him I want to shrink him down and keep him in my pocket so I can pull him out when I need to be cheered up.

While the boys are in school I enjoy my mornings with this little gal.  I love when she says, "come with me, Momma-Girl, you're my girl."  She's MY girl, that's for sure!

Well, I wasn't intending to get all teary-eyed about these kids of mine growing up, but I did!  That's life, for ya, always changing, never "normal".  I guess that's what makes us stronger, right?  So, there it is, in print, life is finally starting to get back to NORMAL!

And P.S. Cameron is getting back to normal too - his knee surgery went well.  He was finally able to go back to DENTAL work (he was doing administration work for a month or so) a few weeks ago.  That makes him happy.  He's pretty amazing.  He's made sure to follow every order from the doctor to a T and because of that he may be able to start doing some type of walking/running cardiovascular exercise within the next few months - which is much sooner than the year the doctor originally told him.  That's pretty great news!

Tow Mater {Today's POTD}

"Mater" is parked in an empty parking lot on the way out to base. Whenever we drive out there Isaac gets excited to see him. Today we drove out to have lunch with Cameron on base. I just happened to have my point and shoot in the car with me so I stopped to take a picture of Isaac with "Tow Mater."

As I was taking the picture with Issac standing on the side that says "Radiator Springs" I had to laugh because this post popped into my mind. See? We really do live in "Hillbillie Hell"!

Gotta say, though, for the record; I still do not love it here. These past couple years have been some of the loneliest of my life, BUT, I've accepted Mountain Home for what it is: the place we lived when Landon got his very first real best friend, where he was baptized, and where he discovered his love of football. It's the place where Austin grew from little boy to big boy and where we finally got the most help for his allergies. It's the place where Isaac went to preschool and where I didn't really worry about him riding his bike in the street in front of our house. It's the place that was Ella's first home. It's a place where my kids discovered how to entertain themselves and find adventures in their own backyard. It's a place that I've learned to find joy in the journey. It's the place where my family is now. And just like Lightening McQueen discovered sometimes "Hillbillie Hell" isn't so bad!

Dear Grandma:

Thanks for all the cute clothes you give us!

I wear this Lego shirt ALL. THE. TIME.

This dress is perfect for our 99 degree weather days.

We Love You!

IF I could read ONE person's mind...

...It would be HIS

this boy baffles me...he makes me wonder what he's thinking E.V.E.R.Y. DAY... he teaches me patience - He teaches us ALL patience - Landon gave me a note today; it says, "Heavenly Father knows your tough, He gave you Isaac."

Oh how I love these boys of mine.

Zacky, you are the funnest, most loving, incredible little boy. And you are FULL of PASSION. That's why when you are happy - you are ECSTATIC, and when you are mad - you are ...INSANE...there's just no other word for it! What are we gonna do with you, Crazy Boy?! I wish wish wish I could know what you were thinking so I could figure out a way NOT to set that 'insane passion' off, 'cause you are wearing me out! How does that 3-year old brain work, Little Dude?!

comfort and joy

Today, as I was reading to Isaac before naps, the phrase "comfort and joy" came to mind. I love our afternoon tradition of snuggles and stories. It's our one on one time together each day and I cherish it. I hope he does too. I love these pictures too, because, awww it's Christmas. The Christmas quilt my Grandma made me years ago - it sits on our couch all Christmas season and we all snuggle under it. The Christmas story story Isaac is reading - he loves finding the baby Jesus. And the Christmas Angel bear that sings Away in a Manger - he listens to it at least once a day.

Happy Halloween {part deux}

we kicked off the halloween fun with "haunted houses". i let Landon and Austin invite friends over to make them with us. Isaac did a great job building his little house too (his is the one with only ghosts). Landon invited his friend Andrew - a great kid who has a LOT in common with Landon.

Our only Trick or Treating this year went down at the church "Trunk or Treat". (We opted to invite a few friends over on Sunday and celebrate a little more Sunday-like rather than Trick or Treat) So on Friday I got the kids ready and we headed out. I was glad so many of my Young Women love to hold Ella cuz getting through a food line holding 4 plates of hotdogs and chili would've been a lot harder with her in my arms too.

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I really really tried to get Isaac on board with the idea of being a frog so he and Ella could be the Princess and the Frog but he wanted nothing to do with the frog. So I gave up and let all the kids pick from the aisles of WALMART! Awesome.

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Isaac chose this little Lightning Mcqueen number. He thinks it's a baseball player costume. And he LOVES it. He's already completely worn it out. (it is from Walmart - but really it is coming apart at the seams - I had to sew it back together before Friday.)

And Austin chose to join the Transformer world. (not sure why his picture is so huge)

Landon's costume is one my Mom gave us from her Halloween shop days. I'm not a fan of blood and guts kind of Halloween-ing, but you should have seen how excited Landon was to use fake blood (even though I would only let him use it on his hand.) boys!

Cameron was gone this year for our pumpkin carving. We missed him but we had fun anyway. I let the big kids do thier own pumpkins: scooping, drawing, and carving. Isaac helped me draw his and then punched out his carving (after I carved) with a spoon. We also made Ella a little one. {by the way - Isaac had a big pumpkin to carve too, but he really just wanted to carve the little one}

they turned out so awesome! They each named their pumpkins too. {and I was glad my little prayer that they wouldn't cut off a finger was answered!}

Sunday morning I made "spider web" oatmeal and the kids used a ghost cookie cuter to make their toast scarey. That night we had some friends over for spooky food and games. The kids helped with the decorations (see the shrunken heads - they're made from apples). We had chili and orange cornbread (that Austin made almost completely by himself) and sugar cookies leftover from the ones I had to make for Austin's class party. I attempted to make bone-shaped breadsticks but they ended up being just plain-shaped. We opened the door for a grand total of FIVE trick-or-treaters, the kids watched Babe, and we played Ticket to Ride. It was a fun night.

High-Fivin' a Prophet

This is my brother, Jared, and his wife, Stephanie...

He graduated from Weber State University on Friday (a major in Spanish and 3 minors: art, zoology, and chemistry - overachiever ;) ) He's going to Michigan State for Medical School in the fall. He's a cool kid - I've always been a little jealous of him - he's hillarious, can pretty much do anything he puts his mind to, has a lot of fun in life - Austin reminds me of him so much...
Because he's such a cool guy he was the student body vice president at Weber this year. Because he was an officer he got to sit just feet away from President Thomas S Monson (president of the LDS church, our prophet). I took these pictures from the very top of the Dee Events Center

President Monson was there to recieve an honory degree and deliver the key note speech. He talked about the "ABC"s of life: A for attitude, B for beliefs, and C for... not sure because by the time that came along I was only paying attention to keeping Austin quiet with a few games of tic tac toe

Once it was over we walked down to congratulate Jared. He was handing out medals to distinguished guests. Austin went down onto the floor with my dad. Before I could get my camera out Austin was high-fiving President Uchtdorf. Man, I could have gotten a great picture! Too bad! Austin was so happy. He came back to tell us and Landon got a little sad he missed out. Jared saved the day. He took both boys into the middle of the crowd assembled around President Monson. Jared had already met President Monson so he said, "President Monson my nephews would really like to meet you." President Monson looked at the boys and said, "well boys, take your hands out of your pockets and give me a high five!" These pictures are as close as I could get. The entrance was blocked off to everyone except "VIP"s. When Jared took the kids down they tried to stop Landon. Jared said, "they're with me." The usher, "Oh they're graduating with you?" Jared, "yeah. come on Landon."

They came back with big eyes and big smiles. Happy and excited. A little reverent too. It was special for them. A once in a lifetime opportunity. How many people can say they've given the prophet a high five?!

baseball and other signs of {SPRING}

We have loved being outside lately. Spring and Fall - best times of the year.

Oh my, do they take their baseball seriously around here. Landon has practice three nights a week about two hours each time. Games started on Saturday so hopefully practices will slow down now that games will be twice a week until the end of May.

It can be crazy to haul everyone around, eat dinner, get the kids to bed at a decent hour. But I really love love love watching my kids play sports. I think they need it too. It gives them a goal to work towards. It gives them something to do. It gives them exercise. It makes them happy. It gets them outside. It makes them well rounded. It gives them something to practice together (Austin's age group starts in May). I especially love baseball because it's a sport I'm actually pretty good at. I love playing catch with the kids. And now that they're older and can really play, it's especially fun.

Cameron's been finishing our fence; doing a FANTASTIC job. It's something else the boys can do together. They spent the entire day on Saturday (minus baseball game time) picking up the wood and putting up the fence together.

(this picture is last saturday when they drilled the holes for the posts and cemented them in)

Oh, yes. The kids are into bugs lately. Landon got an ant farm for Easter. He tried to find ants to put in it. He cried and cried when he couldn't find any (we sent away for some...). The next day I went to Target and found these little bug traps in the dollar spot. Got them for the kids. I told Landon to lift up the rocks to find bugs. Surprise - A HUGE ANT hill. The kids have been filling their bug traps up with ants every day since.

In an effort to motivate the kids and give them some one on one time (we're all about multi-tasking around here) we've been giving them rewards for working towards certain goals - when they reach their goal they can do something special with one of us. This time Austin read an entire book with no help to Cameron. So the kids and I met Cam after work and Cameron and Austin went swimming together as his award. (Zac, Landon, Ella and I hung out at the park across from the hospital for a while.)

spring V A C A Y

We spent Spring Break in Utah... always fun to be around our families and friends

We met up with some friends at the Dino-museum in Ogden (we missed you Jessie). We wanted to meet up with more friends but Utah's spring break is this week so with kids in school this was as much as we could do. Landon had fun flirting with the girls and Austin was in heaven climbing the valcano and chasing the other boys around. Isaac - well he got "lost" twice; can't keep up with that kid! I miss my friends (thanks for letting the kids sluff school so we could see you guys!) but at least we all have a common denomenator: Utah.
We spent a lot of time just hanging out and being around eachother. We LOVE Grandmas and Grandpas
Ella turned two months old. Oh how I love this girl! She is the most pleasant baby. I've started calling her Stare Bear becasue she is happiest staring at someone while they talk to her. She smiles all the time. I know she has her first real belly laughs just below the surface - it will be soon. She still sleeps a LOT during the day and has a hard time settling down for bed before midnight but we're working on it.
As if keeping Zac out of trouble at home wasn't hard enough, keeping him out of trouble at my mom's: near impossible. Yes that is her lipstick he put on. {a little side note I've been wanting to document - I love this little boys voice! He sings all the time. He talks all the time. He's starting to scream less of the time. His normal voice sounds like Jar Jar from Star Wars, "that movie ISA cool." or "I want to go to THEESA store too." and when he's sad or worried about something he gets this little English accent, "Daud is MAUD at me." or "what's the MAUTER Dauddy?" LOVE this kid and his cute little voice}

Ella got to meet lots new people. The cousins wanted to hold her. I loved watching my Grandma - Ella's Great Grandma - meet her for the first time. something special about that

We did lots of Easter stuff. This was my attempt at an Easter picture. Not one for the mantel but a glimpse of reality. Isaac singing, Landon posing, Austin goofing off, and Ella screaming. "feed me already!"

I also tried to teach the kids the real reason we celebrate Easter. While the guys were at the priesthood session I told the kids the Easter story. We read some versus from the Bible and from the Book of Mormon. The next day my dad asked Isaac about Easter. I reminded him that we talked about Jesus the night before. "what happened to Jesus?" Isaac's response: "Jesus loves me!!"

Easter eggs at the Smed's. I didn't get pictures of the "BIG HUNT" because Easter morning the kids all woke up at 6:50. I got up and tried to convince them all to go back to sleep. No luck. So they all hunted on their own while I tried to keep them quiet and let the rest of the "normal" (the ones that sleep in on Sunday mornings) people sleep.

Easter eggs and General Conference at the Perigos.

Great week. Happy times. Loved it.

what day is it again?!

The sleepless nights are getting to me... I've been putting on a brave face, as in telling myself, "this is normal. it'll get better. no big deal." But I'm TIRED! I guess that's why I really have no idea what day it is. I feel SO busy, yet I get nothing done, really. Maybe a load of laundry or dinner or something like that, but for the most part I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Going from one kid to the next and one task to the next, accomplishing nothing. Going through the motions, folks. That's what I'm doing. And in time, yes it will get better ( I know eventually Ella will sleep between the hours of 11pm and 5 am, right?!). But for now I need a nap!

valentines cookies - we did get these made, at least..

Austin really LOVES Ella. All the boys stop and give her hugs and talk to her but Austin, especially has a special bond with her. He changes her diaper (with assistance) and is always there to help with her bath or get her dressed. Austin gets, litterally, heart broken if he can't hold her when he wants to. Cute big brother.

this is the answer I get everytime I find a mess from this boy. most recently: "why'd you color all over the table?" and " why is their sticky finger prints all over the couch?" My next question, "why do I keep asking him why he does these 2-year old things?"

this little girl doesn't love her tummy. But the other day she hung out like this for 20 minutes looking at these "little people"

Cameron, a.k.a. Super Dad, made up for my lack of planning - he took the kids to pick out Valentine's presents (legos, of course) on Saturday. Then he got up early on Sunday and made us all pink heart pancakes - before 9 am church. The kids thought that was awesome.

I've had a lot friends and neighbors bringing treats and meals. It's been so nice. Tons of phone calls to check on me. There are great people here. These are the thank you "cards" I've given back to them. Although, I have some great friends, I find myself missing my "past life" (as in Iowa and Colorado). It's just so different here. Could I still be adjusting to the move? Who knows. I think I'm adjusting to new baby and lack of sleep.

This cute smile makes me smile. I love him. It makes it worth it to go through the motions...