Baby Steps {What is NORMAL Anyway?}

Okay, I predicted another post in about three months and, well, it was a good prediction.  I keep thinking life will "get back to normal" or "settle down" and then I'll be able to do all the things I want to do...like write this blog {family journal}, for instance.  This year has taught me MUCH and one of those things is there is NO normal!  

Now that I'm on the other side of my surgery and {mostly} healed, I can define my normal as this: being able to BREATHE DEEPLY and BE CALM,  LOOK TO THE FUTURE, MAKE GOALS and WORK TOWARD THEM, ENJOY THE MOMENT.  So many of my days have been spent just trying to make it through the day, live through the pain or the exhaustion.  Now that I have conquered this beast in my life, I can see that trials will come and life will be hectic and sometimes you just have to "make it through the day".  BUT, now I realize that at the end of a trial I can get back to my normal.  And sometimes, I can still have some "normal" through the trial.  Funny thing about facing affliction, after you've been through a big one the small ones don't seem so bad :)

So, now that I have some energy back, I'm trying to get caught up on all the things I've been letting go for the past months, like cooking dinner :) I made 30 freezer meals and froze some meals that church friends brought over.  I have one left.  BELIEVE me, those freezer meals have been a blessing, so thanks for all of you that brought us food, it was well appreciated.

Also, I want to get back on track with this blog.  It makes me happy to document my family's life.  I realize that HALF of Landon's living - at - home - with - his - parents life is over!  That makes me sad.  I want to remember these years.  I want to try my hardest to arm him with knowledge and strength for the "real world".  This blog (I think of it as our journal) helps me do that.

And speaking of Landon growing up... I was a wreck on the first day of school this year.  He started middle school - in 5th grade!  I feel like I got jipped a year of "kid-hood" with him.  There's something about him being at MIDDLE SCHOOL that just kinda freaks me out.  I want his innocence to stay intact.  I've accepted that it wont, though, and we have talks about "dating" and swearing and being an example.  (And just so you know, Girl that Won't Be Named, Landon is still not allowed to date you! HA!  I'm still reeling over that one...)

This boy is growing up too!  He started a Montessori Preschool and he loves it.  Everyday he tells me he didn't learn how to read yet.  That makes him disappointed.  We have to talk about how things worth doing take hard work, like learning how to read or ride a bike.  He'll get it.  I'm glad he's so excited about learning.

Austin just turned 8; growing up too.  He is such a helpful, cheerful boy!  I tell him I want to shrink him down and keep him in my pocket so I can pull him out when I need to be cheered up.

While the boys are in school I enjoy my mornings with this little gal.  I love when she says, "come with me, Momma-Girl, you're my girl."  She's MY girl, that's for sure!

Well, I wasn't intending to get all teary-eyed about these kids of mine growing up, but I did!  That's life, for ya, always changing, never "normal".  I guess that's what makes us stronger, right?  So, there it is, in print, life is finally starting to get back to NORMAL!

And P.S. Cameron is getting back to normal too - his knee surgery went well.  He was finally able to go back to DENTAL work (he was doing administration work for a month or so) a few weeks ago.  That makes him happy.  He's pretty amazing.  He's made sure to follow every order from the doctor to a T and because of that he may be able to start doing some type of walking/running cardiovascular exercise within the next few months - which is much sooner than the year the doctor originally told him.  That's pretty great news!

Football: We've Found His Sport

I didn't know I like football until I saw him play. And practice...and practice...and practice. This kid puts in his time (and I put in mine - driving him there and waiting for him and picking him up :) ) He has practice 4 nights a week for an hour and a half. He has 2 hour games every Saturday. He comes home sweaty and dirty and tired...and HAPPY. He LOVES football. And he is good at it. Really good. More than that, football has really helped Landon in other ways too. He's realized what it means to work for something - not just put in your time but REALLY work for something. And he has to work hard every time he is on that field. The team doesn't always win but he still feels the rewards of his hard work and that makes him happy... and me and Cameron.

Football season started the last week of July at Football Camp. We were all impressed when Landon brought home the first place in the "punt, kick, pass" competition. It was kind of surprising to all of us since he hadn't played before. He played it cool and acted like it was no big deal, but his HUGE smile told us how happy he was for winning. A special bonus was that my dad and brother happened to be here that weekend and saw him play. It means a lot to Landon to have people around cheering him on (especially his grandmas and grandpas!)

I love how tough he looks in his uniform...

...especially when he's got his "game face" on. For some reason I LOVE this picture of him. He just looks tough and ready to play.

I've always been weary of my boys playing football. I'm worried about him being around the stereotypical "football playas" and I worry about him getting hurt. I gotta say, though, football has been so good for him. It's been a long season and we still have a month to go. His endurance hasn't faltered. He's so much stronger physically and mentally. He hasn't said once that he doesn't want to play, in fact every day he is excited to get out there with his team. I can't help but be that crazy fan on the sidelines cheering him on (although I try to keep it under control! :) )

TRYING

I was planning on giving our Landon-Boy some press, and I'm still going to. There's a lot going on in his almost nine year old life. I want to post all about it. Last night he and I went out to dinner after baseball practice - Just The Two of Us... and I LOVED it. I really, really enjoyed him. Lately, it seems that every time he wants to "talk" one of his little siblings is interrupting with some kind of urgent need. I was feeling a bit distant from him and our little dinner together was the perfect way to reconnect, no distractions, just listening to all the funny things that go on in his head.

But today is just not the day to tell you all about him because I have some other thoughts that are crowding out my happy thoughts. I gotta get them out so I can focus.

So for NOW, I am TRYING *to be more positive in my thoughts and words *to take nothing for granted *to live in the moment and plan for the future *to help the elementary school come up with an allergy action plan that is suitable for Austin *to figure out a way to help Austin be a "normal" kid

I have had three meetings with the principle, over the past couple of months, regarding Austin's food allergies - focusing on the Peanut Allergy, because that is the one that is LIFE THREATENING. Here's what I'm asking for:

-Staff Training: recognizing signs of anaphalaxis and knowing what to do and how to use the epi-pen {as of my last meeting, only ONE person in the school knew how to use the epi-pen. That is unacceptable to me - what if she isn't there? what if they can't find her? what if... I think ALL staff should be trained to use the epi-pen, the sooner he gets the shot the less likely he will die or suffer brain damage from lack of oxygen}

-Ban of Peanut Products in the Classroom: this is a touchy subject. In Florida parents are picketting to remove a 1st grader from school. They are saying some MEAN things that rock me to my core. This website has a video from CNN that talks about this case. It also lists some of the things people are saying based on this case, two examples:

"Really? I shouldn't have access to a peanut product anywhere "in public" because of your kid's problem? Man, you make me want to scatter peanuts everyplace I go. Sounds like a gene pool that needs to be drained."

"You do everything you can, but at some point you've just got to let some kids die. Are we at that point with banning peanut butter? I don't know. But the survival of any species can't continue when the weakest are allowed to pass along their sickly genes."

Comments such as these, help me realize that I am the minority, and there are STRONG opinions out there. I can not understand how people can be so callous and just plain mean. But that's beside the point. I'm not going to win, trying to change those kinds of opinions. But there's gotta be some kind of compromise and balance. I get that people have the right to eat whatever we want. We also have the "right to bear arms". Yet, guns are banned in schools, as they should be. A peanut for Austin is just as dangerous as a loaded gun. I am asking the school to ban peanuts in the classrooms. Students can eat it in the cafeteria where it can be controlled. Which brings me to my next point in the action plan.

-Providing a CLEAN nut-free table in the cafeteria (if I had my way, I would ban nuts from the entire school, but apparently, there are children "that will ONLY eat peanut butter and we can't force them to eat something else." Furthermore, this is such a TEENY-TINY town that the principal is VERY concerned about backlash from parents...really concerned. And I too, want them for me not against me - or Austin)

-Asking kids to wash their hands as they enter the room after lunch: there is concern with this taking away from the students educational time. I can understand that, as well. However, hand washing will benefit all children for general health and wellness reasons. And with sinks in the classroom, it can be done quickly and efficiently.

-Decreasing the amount of nuts in school, in general: I've asked the school cafeteria to come up with a substitute for Uncrustables, which are served everyday. It's proving to be a lot more difficult than expected, because of financial reasons, and the need for the cooks to "make" the peanut-free sandwiches themselves instead of just opening a box of pre-made ones.

I feel like maybe I'm too close to this issue to assess if fully, because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the big deal is? Why is it so hard to just reduce the amount of peanut butter from the school (by keeping what people bring from home in a controlled space and not serving it from the hot lunch line). And why is it such a big deal to assign a table in the cafeteria to be peanut free?

I've been in two other school districts that were "peanut free" and didn't think twice about it (even before I realized the severity of Austin's allergy). In fact, Ada County (Boise school districts - within an hours drive) have all adopted a peanut-free allergy protocol, according to our allergist. So, I'm left to wonder, can't we just copy that protocol and put it into affect next year?

As I write this, I am aware that it might sound as if the school isn't working with me. The principal, actually, has been quite sympathetic and has put many phone calls in to others in the "know". She is willing to do what needs to be done but she also has lots of pressure from, not only other parents, but even staff within the school that just can't fathom the thought of not being able to eat nuts at school. So that's where we're at. My options: keep working with the school, drive Austin to Boise everyday, Homeschooling, a private school with (according to people that attend) very supportive staff and less parents to deal with. What I want to do is just let him keep going to school, SAFELY. I'd like your opinion, am I being unreasonable?

Basketball highlights

We must first recognize the {SHOES}... I'm not sure that they made him jump higher, run faster, or dribble farther, BUT... they made it impossible to miss him on the court! a special shout-out goes to Cameron for taking the boys shoe shopping and buying Landon ANY pair he wanted!

The months of January and February have been filled with practices and games. And it has been FUN. Fun, because Landon's skills have increased SO SO much. I'm really proud of him. He had a couple games that were rough to say the least. But after a bad game, he rallied, got out his drill sheet, practiced a little more, and by the last game he was taking every shot he could. He made 5 baskets that day (just cuz I'm his mom and I can brag: the score was 15-10, 10 of the points Landon's!). It was so awesome to see him shoot, make it, and look over at us B.E.A.M.I.N.G. If I've said it once... I just love sports because they really can boost a kid's confidence. I'm especially proud of Landon for just getting in there, taking as many shots as he could, and realizing that being good at something takes practice, it's not enough to want to do it. You have to stick with it and do the drill over and over again, until you play the way you want to.

Despite my highest ISO setting and my flash, I had a hard time getting great shots of Landon... so you'll have to forgive the photography. I thought this picture was cool anyway:
sweet baby, girl!
Michael Jordan sticks his tongue out; Landon just opens his mouth

tradition: a little 3 on 1 with Dad after the game

I like this picture. Just after Landon shoots, both teams are just staring at the ball waiting for it to go in. Yes! He made it!

another shot he made. camera zoomed in too close to see the basket. ISO up too high to capture the shot. so you gotta take my word for it. He made it.

Getting to the games on time was a little crazy. Saturday mornings are usually slow-paced around here, so getting the kids to get dressed right when they wake up is always a challenge. This day, I looked at Isaac walking out to get a drink and, yes his pants are on backwards. Whose kid is that?!

Sports Day: Once a Hawkeye, Always a Hawkeye

The kids met their "AR" goals for the quarter so they got to dress up in their favorite sports team gear. Landon was beyond sad that he didn't have an Iowa shirt that still fit him. "Can't we go get one?" well, no...Mountain Home's Walmart doesn't sell Iowa shirts. So I told him to wear his AirForce shirt (he didn't have a Utah shirt that fit him either) and I would paint his face for Iowa.

An artist, I'm NOT. But, the little stencil I made turned out okay.

And it satisfied Landon's desire to wear all things Hawkeye. Except, when he got home from school and told me he was FURIOUS because "everyone" kept asking him why he was wearing an Idaho Vandels "I" with a Boise State Bronco's shirt. Landon said he had to point to the Tigerhawk and say, "it's Iowa!" and point to his shirt and say, "it's an AirForce shirt!" "don't they know how to read, Mom?!"

...Still I think he was happy to have his face painted.

Isaac and Austin wore their Iowa shirts too. Austin wanted to wait until JUST before his afternoon Kindergarten class to paint his face, "so it doesn't scratch off, Mom." {The lighting in my kitchen is much better at 11:45 than it was at 8:00 that morning.}

He said everyone in his class thought it was cool his face was painted.

Happy Halloween {part deux}

we kicked off the halloween fun with "haunted houses". i let Landon and Austin invite friends over to make them with us. Isaac did a great job building his little house too (his is the one with only ghosts). Landon invited his friend Andrew - a great kid who has a LOT in common with Landon.

Our only Trick or Treating this year went down at the church "Trunk or Treat". (We opted to invite a few friends over on Sunday and celebrate a little more Sunday-like rather than Trick or Treat) So on Friday I got the kids ready and we headed out. I was glad so many of my Young Women love to hold Ella cuz getting through a food line holding 4 plates of hotdogs and chili would've been a lot harder with her in my arms too.

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I really really tried to get Isaac on board with the idea of being a frog so he and Ella could be the Princess and the Frog but he wanted nothing to do with the frog. So I gave up and let all the kids pick from the aisles of WALMART! Awesome.

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Isaac chose this little Lightning Mcqueen number. He thinks it's a baseball player costume. And he LOVES it. He's already completely worn it out. (it is from Walmart - but really it is coming apart at the seams - I had to sew it back together before Friday.)

And Austin chose to join the Transformer world. (not sure why his picture is so huge)

Landon's costume is one my Mom gave us from her Halloween shop days. I'm not a fan of blood and guts kind of Halloween-ing, but you should have seen how excited Landon was to use fake blood (even though I would only let him use it on his hand.) boys!

Cameron was gone this year for our pumpkin carving. We missed him but we had fun anyway. I let the big kids do thier own pumpkins: scooping, drawing, and carving. Isaac helped me draw his and then punched out his carving (after I carved) with a spoon. We also made Ella a little one. {by the way - Isaac had a big pumpkin to carve too, but he really just wanted to carve the little one}

they turned out so awesome! They each named their pumpkins too. {and I was glad my little prayer that they wouldn't cut off a finger was answered!}

Sunday morning I made "spider web" oatmeal and the kids used a ghost cookie cuter to make their toast scarey. That night we had some friends over for spooky food and games. The kids helped with the decorations (see the shrunken heads - they're made from apples). We had chili and orange cornbread (that Austin made almost completely by himself) and sugar cookies leftover from the ones I had to make for Austin's class party. I attempted to make bone-shaped breadsticks but they ended up being just plain-shaped. We opened the door for a grand total of FIVE trick-or-treaters, the kids watched Babe, and we played Ticket to Ride. It was a fun night.

And So It Begins...

I was talking to Landon, yesterday, about school. He said, "Mom you don't know; you went to school in the 80's."

what I thought was *Well, yeah, the 80's were SO long ago and the kids were SO different then. I really don't know what it's like.*

what I wanted to do was shake him and MAKE it sink into his head.

what I said was "Cameron, what do you think?" (when in doubt ask Dad)

what I gotta do now - get a grip and let it go. he's gonna learn what life's gonna teach him no matter what. If he doesn't want to take my advice who cares? He'll figure it out. No lecturing. Say my peace, tell him I love him and send him to school, right? This is totally new parenting territory for me...

We all said something like that to our parents, didn't we? I knew I'd hear it sometime; just thought he'd be more like, I don't know, 13? Not 8. Geesh.

First Day

Here they are after their first day yesterday. So happy the day went well. So happy they made friends. So happy they have great teachers.And now today on the second day of school I take a break because ... the house is silent. The little kids are napping. The big kids are at school. Time to do something that makes me happy.... just for a minute... then back to the pile of laundry...oh yeah, gotta clean up the playdough that entertained the kids this morning while they waited for Kindergarten to start .... my computer break's only gonna last long enough to type this out. Oh well, there's always tomorrow's nap time...

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During our school preperations Austin asked me how to make friends. Also, I've noticed for a long time that Landon likes to just have one best friend. I wanted to encourage him to try to be friends with everyone this year. So... the night before school, during our annual back to school night family night we had a little lesson on making friends.

Each balloon represents a kid in the class. We talked about how "rebecca" is always humming to herself. she's african american. she chases boys at recess. Then Austin popped the balloon to "get to know her on the inside". we found out she can tell hillarious jokes and will make you laugh when you talk to her.

Each of our balloon "friends" were different and a little scary to get to know but when we "got to know them" we found out we had things in common with all of them. Then I gave the kids 5 "silly bands" (depending on where you live they are the best thing to trade since pokemon cards) and told them *at recess* give one away to each kid they got to know and tell me something about them when they got home. Then I would give them a whole pack of silly bands. The kids were excited to have a way to break the ice with strangers. (Landon just keeps his in his pocket, cuz he's in 3rd grade now so it's not as cool I guess...)

Kindergarten. He's been waiting for a long time for this day. Oh I love him. He's got the best attitude. His excitement rubs off on all of us. He's going to have so fun in school. And he is READY. Just wish it was a full day instead of half. Although, I really do miss him!love the backpack picture - it's as big as him! It has all his school supplies in it but still - it's huge! and he loves it.

picked out everything from his shoes to his shirt to his silly band colors; layed them all out the night before; he was up and dressed by 7:00 (huge, since he hasn't been waking up until 8:30 during the summer)

... and my big 3rd grader! can't believe it. Really, where DOES the time go? I think Landon is going to get a bit of a reality shock this year when he learns some concepts he hasn't mastered already (can't wait for him to think, huh? I don't know everything...I'm also a little scared for him to realize that; might be a tough year) hopefully he'll rise to the challange and just do it without getting discouraged - My wish for him for this year.

Landon has grown up so much lately. We're on the brink of the "tweens" and we can all sense it. He's excited for the responsibility of picking up Austin from his class. Sometimes he says something and I think, "oh there you are - my sweet little boy!" other times I think, "wo! you are becoming such a cool little man." I'm feeling a sense of loss for my little guy right now. He's just growing up too fast! Love him!

a {baptism} a {funeral} a {very} long week

Last Saturday, June 5, my little {big} Landon got baptized. We are all so proud of his decision. And, yes, it was his decision. We've been talking about the promises he'd make to God during baptism for months. We've been reading scriptures as a family and he's been reading on his own. We've been praying as a family and he's been praying on his own. I made a little baptism book for him to fill out - a little scrapbook for him to record things about his life now, his preperation for baptism, his testimony, how he felt before, during, and after. Reading through it, I can tell that he really did think about his decision to be baptized, and for that I'm proud of him. And for the fact that he really is trying to keep the commandments and "choose the right". Man, the kid is growing up.

This is my Great-Grandpa Joe. That morning my Grandma called to tell me the doctors said it was time to take him off life support (he'd been in the hospital for a week, with pnemonia and never recovered). My parents and brother were already on their way here to Idaho and had to decide if they should turn around to be there at the hospital or continue on to be with us. I know we all wanted to be in two places that day. The doctors took his breathing tube out and he died within minutes, with my grandma and aunts and other family there with him.
We'd been praying for Grandpa all week. Actually, Landon is the one who prayed for him first, because he heard me on the phone with my mom and decided to say a prayer right then. As updates came we changed our prayers from, "please help Grandpa recover and be healthy." to "please give Grandpa Joe peace and help him feel thy love." I hope he did have peace.

The day went on, though, and we had a beautiful baptism. After, we had all our out-of-town family and some people from our ward come over for a BBQ. The food was great - seriously, can you not get enough hamburgers during the summer?! The kids jumped on the tramp and ran around, the adults chatted and ate. Isaac was in absolute heaven, helping himself to any treat he wanted, chugging down a sprite from the can (he's never allowed a whole can!) and coloring with sidewalk chalk. I think he sat there coloring and chugging for an hour, at least. Landon and Austin were way too busy with their cousins and friends to even talk to me.

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Thank you so much to Gary and Sharlene, and Tammy and Cordell, and Mom and Dad, and Jared and Steph. I know the drive is a pain but it meant the world to us that you came to be with us for Landon's special day.

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We went to church on Sunday. I went home after sacrament to see off my brother and his wife (and give them a delicious breakfast of cold pizza!) After hanging out a bit with my parents and brother everyone got on the road to go back to Utah. I was planning on driving down in a couple days for my Grandpa's funeral. But, plans changed when we got a phone call from my dad - a shaft on the transmission in their van broke. So, Ella and I jumped in the car to pick them up. Since Cameron's parents were staying in Idaho for the week and could help Cameron with the kids, it worked out that Landon could stay here for Scout Camp and Austin could stay for baseball.

I was happy to be there for the funeral. And it was nice to be there for the couple of days before too. I saw some uncles I rarely see (in fact I hadn't seen Jamie in 18 years!). It was nice to connect with them again and remember how funny they are! I was happy to drive around in circles with Jared for a bit, looking for the church; a chance to force him to talk to me :) before his big move to Michigan for med school. It was fun shopping with Mom for baby hair bow stuff - I always learn things from her - never would have put that center on the white flower but it is my new favorite bow. I was happy to see the house my Grandma is building - her dream house, finally, she deserves it. I loved all the attention Ella got. Seriously, that girl can reel 'em in with her smile! I loved sitting in the back of my van while my dad drove home and feeling like a little girl again, just for a while. I just really enjoyed talking to everyone. I really do have a wonderful, great family.

And I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful husband with a wonderful family. Thanks, Gary and Sharlene, for getting the kids where they needed to be all week, and for taking care of everyhting else. We all appreciate it.

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So, now I'm home. I've been a bit emotional the last couple of days. I'm mostly just tired, I think; emotionally tired. And getting used to the craziness of summer with kids (in Mtn. Home - not much to do!). Maybe it's just the circle of life that's getting to me. A few regrets - a death always reminds us of how short life is. Unfullifilled expectations. At the funeral my dad reminded us of Grandpa Joe's catch phrase, "I'm hangin' in there". So I'm reminding myself to be like Grandpa, and hang in there. And I'm reminding myself to be like Landon - pray, trust the Lord, keep the promises I made when I was baptized. With two great examples to follow, I can't go wrong...

E i g H t

Landon turned EIGHT! I can't believe it. Where have the years gone?... It seems like yesterday... cliche? Yes. But still... How'd my little boy grow up so fast?

As always we celebrated for DAYS!! (and we still have a pool party with friends, coming up after Memorial Day). We started the festivities with treats at school. Landon wanted a Falcon birthday. He's really into birds lately; watching them, reading books about them, guessing what kind they are when he sees them. It started during Air Force Academy Football - the trained Falcons put on an AWESOME half-time show. Then my mom got us a bird feeder for Christmas - the boys, especially Landon, have loved watching the birds outside our window. His love of birds was solidified when we watched the Bird episode of Life on Discovery - very cool, birds are. So, anyway, he wanted his party to be falcon-themed.

pretend it doesn't look like their heads are growing out of the flowers!! Cameron brought them home from work for me - love that guy! - the other day and I didn't move them for the picture .
My mom drove down for Landon's little family birthday party. She got him an awesome collectible book about Legos - seriously awesome - it combined two of Landon's favorite things: Legos and Reading. He's been taking to school with him and reading it before and after school since she gave it to him. He's also been looking for the lego sets he wants on Ebay & Amazon so he can use the money G&G Perigo sent.

Landon wanted Concrete Mud Pie - the kind from Wingers. Hmm... how to make a falcon-themed mud pie? I did my best I tell ya. It tasted good.

Cameron got Landon a pocket knife to use for scouts and camping and because "it's time for him to have a knife". Should have seen them... so that's what they mean by "male bonding"!


The next day, after my mom went back home to Utah, Cameron took off work and Landon stayed home from school so we could go to the Birds of Prey Conservation Center in Boise. It was really cool. They were just opening a Condor display so that was neat to be among the first to see them. (They're HUGE, by the way)

We ended his birthday at Fudruckers - his favorite spot for dinner. A Good, Happy Birthday.

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Lando-Comando, you are one cool kid. The older you get the funner you are to have around. You talk about silly things but you also want to have serious talks too. You help me out. You take care of your brothers. You're good about turning off the wii when your times up. You can be bribed with any kind of sweet treat. You still won't touch veggies most of the time - except cucumbers and carrots with ranch and broccoli with vinegar. You impress me by how easily you can accomplish what you want to do. All you have to do is decide you want to do it and you get it done, even if you have to work hard to do it. I love watching you play sports. This past month has been so busy with baseball but it's worth it, to watch you slide into home base with such determination in your eyes. I love ya dude.